by A new study has shown that almost everyone of five British believes that it is acceptable to cheat if your partner has already been unfaithful. But is infidelity ever justified as a form of revenge?
The survey of 2,000 adults showed that 18% of the view that fraud is justified if they were revealed by a partner. It was particularly more likely that men agreed with 22% compared to 14% of women.
The survey was commissioned by the sponsors of Loose Women’s podcast, Mecca Bingo, after the TV presenter Denise Denise Welch and Coronation Street Star Sally Dynevor examined the topic during an episode in April. While determined that “fraud is wrong”, both hosts confirmed that the problem is not always black and white.
“Two mistakes do not make no right. If you have cheated both, there is obviously something wrong, isn’t it?” Dyvora, who plays on the cobblestones Sally Metcalfe, asked. What voted and added: “To say that they have just cheated because someone else cheated, this is the time to leave the relationship. But sometimes when people have so much to lose that they can sometimes overcome an unfaithfulness, and that’s because of them.”
The therapist Dr. Louise Goddard-Crawley says Yahoo UK that it is normal to harm her partner after finding out that they were unfaithful. However, she advises against being cheated on retaliation.
Why shouldn’t they cheat as revenge
“When we are cheated, it is completely natural, angry, vengeful and disoriented. The idea of cheating back can feel like a way to get power or even the score. But in reality it rarely offers the closures that people are looking for,” says the chartered member of the British Psychological Society.
“In response to being cheated, fraud is not tended to heal the pain; it often connects it.”
Goddard-Crawley explains that she has never seen in her work how a retaliation heals a relationship. However, she saw that people used it to avoid susceptibility to sit with the pain of what happened to them.
“These of five British say that they would be surprised if they were cheated. I am not surprised. It speaks to a deep feeling of injustice. But ultimately the cheating of retaliation measures is in the very dynamic savings that they try to escape,” she continues.
“The more useful question is not” is it justified? “
Fraud in retaliation can have the following effects on your well -being
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Creates confusion
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Extended emotional turbulence
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Blocks real reflection or repair
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Shifts the dynamics from the betrayal to retaliation, which may feel satisfactory for a moment, but often people feel as empty as, if not even more
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Expands the pain cycle
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Instead of solving the original betrayal, it creates further distances and regret
How to deal with it to be cheated
The therapist says that it is unfaithful that her partner can shake their self -feeling, their trust in others and their grip on what they thought for their lives. Instead of cheating, she says that there are better options for how you can finish betrayal.
“One of the healthiest things you can do is a break. You don’t have to make big decisions immediately,” she says.
“The therapy can be invaluable here, not because the fraud was its fault, but because we make creatures. We try to understand what happened, and too often we close this story inwards and ask what it says about us and not the person who broke the trust.”
More options to deal with infidelity
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Allow yourself to feel how you feel, i.e. grief, anger, the unbelief; Without hurrying to fix it or understand everything
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Talk to people you trust. You need support, but you also need perspective
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Resist the urge to reciprocate or jump into something new to prove your value
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Remember that someone else’s betrayal says more about him than about their value
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