by We are often told “they do not give to receive”, but it turns out that it could literally be the key to maintaining healthy relationships.
According to experts from Pennsylvania State University, who pursued 52 adults between the ages of 19 and 65 over the course of four months, those who more often expressed love to feel more loved.
The examination in which the case studies are available six times a day with a simple questionnaire to check their emotions also came to the conclusion that the opposite was not true – it was not enough that people were simply showered with affection to feel loved.
When it comes to the definition of “affection”, the authors of the paper, Lindy Williams and Zita Oravecz, looked at everything, from kissing and hugging to poison peaks and words of confirmation. The study not only included romantic couples, but also non-romantic setups such as family and friendship dynamics.
Of course, not every public affection (PDA) likes – and not everyone likes to be loving. So how can you achieve intimacy and maintain healthy relationships? Yahoo UK spoke to relationship experts and BACP accredited consultant Georgina Stormer to find out more.
Why some people are less susceptible to PDA
According to Stormer, there are many reasons why we find physical touch and PDA difficult. She explains: “In the past, we have had negative – or even traumatic – experiences with physical touch. We may have formed negative associations about the idea of touching, or we have not seen or experienced much physical affection than we grew up.
“We could have the feeling that physical affection goes hand in hand with conditions or that it automatically offers something that we are not prepared. Or if we have a tendency to a different language language, we find the idea of physical touch to be frustrating if what we really long for is something else.”
4 other ways to make your relationship happy
1. Understand your love languages
The concept of “love languages” was created by the author Gary Chapman. The idea indicates that we all have a natural openness to receive love and affection in different ways. These are:
Words of confirmation – Affection communicate through spoken and written praise, appreciation and encouragement
Quality time – Love through focused attention and time, which are spent together with activities, conversations and belonging together
Gifts received – It’s not so much about expensive gifts, but rather thoughtful, symbolic gifts and surprises that feel and feel loved
Service bars – Show yourself through thoughtful gestures and deeds that make your partner’s life easier
Physical touch – Demonstrate love through intimate affection – be it hugs, kissing, sex or physical contact
The list of love languages does not have to be a strict series of categories, says Stormer, but it is useful to understand that we – and our partner – could long for affection.
“We could assume that physical affection, touch and intimacy are the focus of a healthy, loving relationship,” she adds. “But in many cases these things are only part of the puzzle. And for some of us – or our partners – the physical touch on the list could be low.”
2. Concentrate on communication
“Your partner is not a mind reader, and that’s okay,” says Stormer. “But it can be one of the hardest things in a relationship to understand.”
She continues: “Sometimes we expect – or hope – that our partner knows in a healthy relationship what we think. This is simply not the case, and that does not mean that there is a problem. In fact, it is incredibly important that we are incredibly important after what we need in a relationship.
3 .. keep an offline relationship
Our devices make it very easy for us to communicate, follow, share and combine. But offline time is extremely important, emphasizes Sturmer.
“Communicating with each other without the distraction of our devices, which can often feel like a” third “, is the key,” she says. “Things like digital-free date nights, extended screen leisure or simply agree to see a film or TV show without ‘showing seconds’ on one device.
“It could also be about finding an analogous solution to a digital problem-to a notepad and a pen, a paper diary, a alarm clock or a physical A to Z card so that we can obtain our screen-free in our relationships and if we are alone.”
4. Spend time with each other accompanied by others
“It can be tempting to be an island, especially if we feel in love,” notes Stormer. “But if this falling in love, it can be helpful to spend time together, but also with other friends.
If we are in this type of social environment, it can help us to remember what we find something special in our partner, “she adds.
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